Reader “micalei” writes:
Duane Chapman was on Leno the other night. Strangely he was missing a pigeon accent. In a massive culture clash he sat next to Paris Hilton and her mother.
He wore those dumb Oakleys with the earpiece jobs during the whole segment. Apparently, they are grafted directly onto his head.
Generally Dog seemed like a nice guy, an odd one though. He didn’t seem effeminate as some have suggested, but he’s definitely overcompensating for something.
Apparently he used to sell Kirby Vacuum cleaners before doing what he does now. He said he liked to sell to farmers, ’cause they are always vacuuming.’
Dog the Vacuum Salesman doesn’t have quite the same ring, although then it’d probably air on Bravo instead of A&E. Besides, those Kirby salesmen might scare more sensitive viewers.
4 responses so far ↓
1 kk da hawaiian // Jun 16, 2005 at 2:09 pm
I also wonder what he smells like, since he runs around in the sun, and smokes marlboro’s non stop… I can imagine the scent of smoldering paper over sour milk at body temperature….
2 The Stink // Jun 16, 2005 at 2:50 pm
Two words: Wet dog.
3 Benny Hill // Jun 16, 2005 at 4:40 pm
Dog looks like he would smell like suntan lotion with a strong hint of Malboro Red’s, and hairspray that holds up his fluffy blonde bangs. Leland, on the other hand, probably smells like dirty sex n’Guiness beer with a hint of Vidal Sasson mousse. Too bad the guy is the height as Herve Villacheze (Tattoo from Fantasy Island ‘da plane da plane!) I mean seriously, are criminals really afraid of a badly tattooed midegt who comes up to their balls when they are captured? The answer is NO!
4 Rose Scalfani // Jul 18, 2005 at 6:31 am
OH come now lets be nice, Maybe The Dog isnt very easy on the eyes but he does seem like a nice guy.